Subtle action can make the difference between dreaming of an ideal love and achieving it. In ordinary life, love has become entangled with something else, usually the ego. By nature the ego is selfish, and although love appeals to it, the ego wants to have love on its own terms. These must be sorted out. One person may want to be in control, another to be taken care of. One may feel insecure no matter how much love is directed her way. Another may have to dominate his partner in order not to feel vulnerable.
But pure love exists, and it can be found. As with everything else, a process is involved. You begin where you are, and you grow through subtle action – that is, you quietly encourage the kind of love you really want.
In your own life, consider the qualities of love at the highest level. The soul’s love is unselfish, giving, blissful, warm and safe, self-sufficient, needing no outside validation, innocent, uncomplicated, kind, compassionate, constant, expanding, comforting, sacred.
These are terms you’ve heard all your life, and you have experienced them either a little bit or a great deal. Sit quietly and summon the memory of one quality, such as kindness, including your memories, visual images, emotions, and people connected with this quality.
Stay with your experience for a few minutes. Let it deepen of its own accord. In effect, you are subtly directing your mind to access the quality of kindness, which forms a neural pattern that differs from a mind that doesn’t dwell on kindness.
In the same way, you can go within yourself and feel as completely as possible, what “giving” or “sacred” means to you. Taking one quality at a time, pay attention to it until you have a clear sense of its personal meaning.
As you become more aware of the love that is inside you, you align with an invisible force. Quietly but steadily, you will find that the higher qualities of love will start to enter your life.
Adapted from Reinventing The Body, Resurrecting The Soul, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2009).