Sunday, October 25, 2009

On Being Touched-Art Janov

On Being Touched

Posted: 24 Oct 2009 03:55 AM PDT
I saw a movie last night. The mother walked by her son and ruffled his hair and moved on. A seemingly innocuous event. But wait! So many of us never had that; so what does it mean? It means that someone acknowledges your existence. If parents walk by you, never smile, touch you or make you feel you exist, you come to believe you don’t. No one has to say you’re bad, I don’t love you. It is all in those very little events. Having hair ruffled day after day means you exist and are wanted, important and loved. When it does not happen day after day it means the opposite; and you come to believe it without ever realizing it. You begin to act as if you don’t exist for anyone. You shy away, never say the kind things you should because who you are and what you do does not matter.

When a parent massages you head it says volumes; I like you, I love you, you are very important, my attention is totally on you, I want to make you happy. That is all absorbed unconsciously and sometimes consciously. “Sometimes consciously” because if you never have had it you then realize something, but if you always had it, it is in the nature of things; nothing exceptional. You deserve just by who you are; and it means you can be who you are without anyone saying anything like that because it is implied and absorbed. You don’t think it matters? It matters.

I think Art is always right on target.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Honesty and Skill

Does it seem to you that there is more deception than ever before or is it just that we hear about it faster with all this new technology. Have companies always been so deceptive when it comes to hocking their wares? Why do the products being promoted have only about half the shelf life promised?
The vaccine market place has become the new battlefield of lies. Do these flu vaccines work and if so, why have there not been any studies to show that they do? I definitely know what it is like to have a flu but have never felt that a flu shot stopped me from getting the flu. Bu of late, I hear many news reports about people dying as the result of these vaccines. Is it really all about money...the value of human life is pared down to dollars? Is it like war when we expect so many will die as a result of war and we prepare for it. I don't think anyone prepares for death from a vaccine and yet there are young children and older adults dying these days from them.
Also, why is it that there are so many people getting pneumonia or staph infections while they are in the hospitals? I thought hospitals were the safest place until I started reading stories and hearing first hand about my friend who was having an operation that the surgeon said just before cutting, "I don't think this man needs an operation" and walks out of the operating room-my friend is released and and gets very sick within 24 hours at home with a staph infection. Another friend whose Mom was in the hospital for a routine operation and she gets double pneumonia.....another friend has diverticulitis, has an operation and they accidentally cut his colon and now has a colostomy bag.
There is something lurking in the ether of our life on this planet and it does not feel very good.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Written by Danielle K on

Like a few other people have mentioned, I do have the urge to bring up the 10 billion animals who suffer for people's meals, but that's what happens when you're a pro-choice vegan. More animals die in one hour than abortions take place all year.

And yes, I wonder why so many of them oppose contraception, which PREVENTS unwanted pregnancy. And why they oppose allowing same-sex couples to adopt, considering how they scream about adoption.

A so-called pro-life president laughed about executions during his governorship and was utterly ecstatic about bombing another country. He put our troops in harm's way by daring insurgents to attack our troops. He didn't show an ounce of respect for actual humans who had already been born.

How many people who call themselves pro-life actually care about what happens to the kid after s/he is born?

If you're going to be truly pro-life, that should mean ALL life, well beyond the womb and not just the human species.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Health Reform by Marianne Williamson

Marianne Williamson wrote48 minutes ago
October 13, 2009

So the Senate Committee came up with a proposed bill today, calling it (inexplicably to me) "health reform."

As we know, the bill is a boon to the insurance industry because it mandates health insurance. Yet without a public option -- real competition for the health insurers -- there is not much in this bill to cut our costs, and a lot in there to increase their profits.

In the words of the late Supreme Court Justice Lewis Brandeis, "We can have great wealth amassed in the hands of a few, or we can have democracy. We cannot have both." The idea that we're giving over the health and welfare of the American people to one group of corporate masters makes me very sad. When I was younger, it made me angry. Now, it just makes me sad.

In the Gettysburg Address, Abraham Lincoln wrote of the sacrifices of the Union soldiers, who fought and died so that "government of the people, by the people, for the people" would not perish from the earth. Yet a later President, Rutherford B. Hayes, would argue that we'd become a "government of the corporations, by the corporations and for the corporations."

And still the contest continues. Even today, we're in a struggle to decide who owns our government: people, or corporations. And at least so far as how it looks within today's health care debate, it looks like corporations are winning.

Capitalism, yes. Capitalism sans ethics, no. Corporations free to do business, yes. Corporations free to run roughshod over the collective good, no. Money flowing in a healthy and positive way through our society, yes. Money running Washington, no.

We need public financing of political campaigns, and until we get it, all these "issues" that we argue about but serve as a cover over the real issue: Money runs America. And how truly sad that is.

How to Make Great Decisions - By Paul Dalton

How to Make Great Decisions - By Paul Dalton
How many times in your life have you put off doing something because you couldn't decide the best course of action to take? I've known people plan to go out for a well earned meal with their partner and end up staying at home because they couldn't make up their mind between Chinese or Italian. Heaven help the person who orders sweet and sour chicken when all along they should have been having lasagna! Can you imagine what it is like for them to choose between a staying in their job or take a gamble on starting that business they always dreamed of?

The fear of making bad decisions prevents people from doing all kinds of things that they might be better off doing. The truth of the matter is there is no way of knowing which direction a particular choice is going to take you. You can spend years ruminating over every possible outcome while in the mean time watching the world move on around you. It doesn't change the fact that, no matter what you choose to do in the end, it might all turn out right and it might all turn out not so right.

But none of that matters because the secret to making great decisions is falling in love with making mistakes.

A lot of people will not make the distinction between making a mistake and making a bad decision, but there is a world of difference, and realizing what that difference is can literally turn your life around and set you on a whole new path.

A mistake is literally doing something in a moment that you think is for the best but later turns out to be not such a good idea for you. A bad decision is doing nothing to correct that mistake and then letting the consequences of it define you for ages afterwards.

Here are a few of examples:

Mistake = Getting into a relationship with the wrong person.
Bad Decision = Sticking with them and being miserable for the rest of your life

Mistake = Choosing Bognor Regis rather than Cuba for your annual holiday.
Bad Decision = Looking for everything you can find to hate about Bognor just to prove you were right about how you should have gone to Cuba! And then going back to Bognor next year! (Bognor is a wonderful place by the way).

Mistake = Going into business without having some sort of a plan.
Bad Decision = Injecting more and more of your personal finance, sweat and tears into it just to prove you can make the damn thing work.

Making a good decision is not about knowing the outcome before it has had a chance to happen. It is about committing to ANY course of action you FEEL is for the best and then paying attention to the lessons you are later presented with. It is the skill of interpreting the information generated by what has happened and choosing to either do more of the same or change your approach -- even start again in some cases. In the same way that an airplane reaches its destination by continually measuring how off track it is from the set flight path and adjusting its course to get back on track, the same is true for good decision making.

Making a decision in any area is not a one time event; it is an ongoing and organic process that must evolve as life unfolds.

Today's Homework:

Think about a decision you have been putting off making. What are the possible choices you have?

Just for a moment, let go of analyzing which choice you think you should make and just listen to your body; your intuition. If I were to flip a coin and the rules were Heads you choose option A and Tails you go with option B, which side would you secretly hope for, deep down, before knowing the outcome?

Just go with your instinct and do something to start to make that choice happen. Be willing to make a mistake, knowing that the only bad decision you can ever make is to not do something about the things you didn't want to happen.

If things go wrong be willing to make a mistake in the opposite direction because, who knows, it might turn out to not be a mistake after all, but rather the realization of your dream!

No matter what your situation you always have choice. Don't worry about having to choose wisely; that's overrated.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

New York City/Transitions

Coming back to the city was simply purposeful. It gives me the opportunity to see my friends, have some wonderful food, and to go to the theater-this time to see Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman in AFTER THE RAIN!

I have noticed this time around that with the seasons changing, the cooler air and windy conditions and the very bright sun, that I am more introspective as to the opportunities that I have yet to create.

There is a responsibility in living here.I noticed the seriousness of the economic conditions and how it has impacted the city. There is a slight tension in the air and with the retailers as hey scramble to pay closer attention to the potential customer. Every sale is a potential dollar and where one might not have pay much attention to this fact a year ago, it does seem much more prevalent now.

I feel gentler than before....maybe it comes from age or just the fact that I do not wish to extend any energy on being anxious or upset with how crowded the subway is, or how long a line may be to get up and down the stairs to the train. A few seconds either way is not going to be a drama.

There is a depth to the architecture for me, too. I am spending much more time, languishing a few more moments on what I see. It makes for a deeper connection and stronger memories for me.